having a baby with a woman you don't love
In November 2022, I gave birth to my precious baby girl. I used to . Only good thing that came out of it are my children. Now she's pregnant. think twice before sharing personal details, foster a friendly and supportive environment, remove fake accounts, spam and misinformation, delete posts that violate our community guidelines, reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts. Here Are 10 Behaviors A Woman Exhibits When She's In Love 1. I unfortunately love my ex I have tried to forgets my ex but I can't. Ease into the conversation. bumboclaath mi nuh hv any advice fi u.battybwoy! Knowing that you don't want to have the relationship with someone, you will never be able to fake your feelings for temporary happiness. LoveDevani is an independent website. Many things will change during the whole 9 months of pregnancy. 2005-2023Everyday Health, Inc., a Ziff Davis company. I even feel guilty saying this considering how hard other couples are trying to have a child and can't. When I had my first baby as a young single mom, I didn't have a car and I figured it out with the help of my family. But there's a catch: Because you believe that having this child means more to you than not having this child means to your husbandand because he had originally agreed to three kidsyour. My girlfriend is pregnant and suddenly i realize that she may not be all i ever wanted. Welcome! 2) Are you prepared to forego this child and create a loving family with someone you truly love (which means you will wait for this new love to bear you a child).but be completely guilty all your life to abandon your first newborn just because you dont love your girlfriend. Remember, the decision you make will decide whether you will be happy or not in the near future. Group Black's collective includes Essence, The Shade Room and Naturally Curly. And you will also need to take a firm decision on what you think is best to be done. Yes, you can still be happy in a relationship without being married. I think it's best to do what will make you the happiest. To not make the problem goes worse, be responsible for your unwanted partner and the baby. You have to remember you are only going to be a victim for as long as you allow yourself to be one. The Stages of Wanting to Have a Baby, by Age From being adorably clueless to using all the condoms to #MomLife. Moreland told me, "Some moms have that immediate, overwhelming, love-at-first-sight feeling with their newborns; others don't. And that's okay. My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. Be strong. Use of this site is subject to our terms of use and privacy policy. AND THE END OF THE DAY IS ALSO HERS. There are midnight feedings, changing diapers, rocking a screaming infant and little sleep. Archived discussions are usually a bit older and not as active as other community content. I know things would be going so much smoother in my life if I wasn't preggo but there hasn't been a day I questioned my love for this baby. I dont think Ill be at peace with her in marriage. She has done nothing wrong and I feel I am just going to destroy her life! Sheffield Utd X Tottenham - Ao Vivo Grtis HD Sem Travar | Futebol Grtis HD. I've never been the same since he brought out innocent baby into the argument. To imagine her saying, "I'm here for you baby." We all need more than the . Please select a reason for escalating this post to the WTE moderators: Connect with our community members by starting a discussion. marrying that girl would even be a bigger mistake and problem than the first one. We work hard to share our most timely and active conversations with you. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think. I feel that i have fallen into serious depression and i might seek some professional help. What was even worst she call me two days later to ask me if I could pick her up and I did. no one is going to be happy in that relationship. Though it didn't work out, I never regretted it. HERE YOU GIVE A CHANCE FOR THE MOTHER, THE CHILD, THE FATHER AND THE GIRLFRIEND AT HAPPINESS IN LIFE. Long story as short as possible! the woman would be unhappy, miserable and resentful as well in the long run for marrying a man who doesnt love her or care if she exists. Friends with benefits are often just friends who you sleep with, with no emotional attachment. A. It's like I've been sleepwalking all this timeI apologize for my rumbling, i really needed to get this off my chest. Because, you are not allowing yourself to have a better relationship, at least with your own self. Lovers have a fun in comfortable room. Also my ex is unlikely to have children which in her case actually doesn't matter to me. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Broken heart is a usual thing but, what is bad is the action that people choose to take to heal the broken heart itself. So today at my apt (weekly NST/ ultrasound due to Covid protocol) baby girl measured 8lb 2 ounces and short so they are saying she will be a big baby and have a big headI had my cervix checked and Im not dilated any nor has Hi all. Keep reading for our tips and advice, and then give Pregnancy & Fatherhood Solutions a call today at (915) 249-1344 or visit us online to . the most helpful and trustworthy pregnancy and parenting information. Are these issues still there? She bullied me into a wedding & now I am miserable. This discussion is archived and locked for posting. He nearly killed you. A woman isn't damaged after engaging in sex, having a baby, or ending a bad relationship. Accept That You Will Never Be First. 1. SHE WILL ALSO HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO THINK ABOUT WHAT'S BEST FOR HER CHILD. Group Leaders communicate with staff moderators and escalate potential violations for review, but they dont moderate discussions. That doesn't mean you give up your relationship w/the child, you will have to share custody, and likely pay support (unless you have the kid more than she does, but that's rare). He and my parents think that we are in love, but I have been keeping my true feelings to myself for 6 months: I don't love him. "Once you cross that line, look for life to get easier in every way. Having a baby with someone you don't love. I am trying REALLY hard to find some common ground with him, to love him, or even like him but the more time goes on the more miserable I am. I'm having a baby with someone I'm not in love with. but she didn't have her baby . I was literally about to break up with her (we were in the process of breaking up), when she announced she was pregnant. Your post will be hidden and deleted by moderators. have condoms been created for monkeys, so silly, i feel for your baby maannnnn, irresponsible parents. Satisfaction can be found through bringing up children . think twice before sharing personal details, foster a friendly and supportive environment, remove fake accounts, spam and misinformation, delete posts that violate our community guidelines, reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts. know it's right to give her the fact straight but she is just a really nice person, and I feel really **** you know! The educational health content on What To Expect is reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts to be up-to-date and in line with the latest evidence-based medical information and accepted health guidelines, including the medically reviewed What to Expect books by Heidi Murkoff. Subscribe to Medium for only $5/month & read ALL my sizzling hot stories! It just reads so snobby and lazy. Anyway, if you don't want to be with her, make that very clear. I do not know the answer to that. What kept us together is our deep friendship and and our ability to communicate. I feel bad for you but you basically gave him the green light to control you. Features: Kris Fluffy named herself aptly - "fluffy" because she says she doesn't shave a single hair on her body. Op: I don't understand why you quit your job, but find a new one and go stay with family. If I could do something different, it would be to divorce as soon as my last daughter was born. If I could take a pill that made me love u him I would, whereas I think he thinks he can start a new life if he left me? As to my ex yes she is into me, we where together for over 9 years, this current relationship is just 10 months old! I know daddies who didn't feel a connection to their babies until they held them for the first time and like someone else said, maybe that'll be the case for you. This is why friends with benefits is never a good idea. On the contrary, women have been forced to marry men they didn't love for centuries. Maybe he doesn't like being used. Plan the best decision that both of you can have to take a good care of the baby. There are days I hate being pregnant and days I could swear I even hate him. Apply for wic and food stamps and move in with family. This is the most stupid guy I have seen in my life twety something years of existance. So here's the long story short My pregnant girlfriend hates me and keeps pushing me away! This is nuts. Making your child or probably children at this point live in hell as well because hey if you married her you may as well keep having sex and bring more kids in the world who would have to listen to the fighting, name calling, hate. I have a good job with good income and will pay half of the costs, I didn't want to lose her but I did. Having a complex relationship that involves a baby mama means you have to include the other woman in your life; whether you like it or not. To allow yourself to stay in a toxic relationship will be useless. The #1 app for tracking pregnancy and baby growth. K lemme get one thing straight. When we found out this baby is a boy, the feeling of disconnection multiplied; I know this baby is going to be like his daddy. And which case, most would be use safe sex and if thy got pregnant, they would try for an abortion. JP friend, thanks for taking the time to read my post and offer your advise. 1) If you seriously just want the child, but not the mother, you know this can never happen unless you have an agreement with your girlfriend. I've been with my boyfriend for years and I still don't know if I love him. And beware if your list of reasons is merely a hollow echo of your partner's. 3. Please specify a reason for deleting this reply from the community. or you will be 35 and wondering where your life went and if you'll ever be happy. An increasing number of South Korean women are choosing not to marry, not to have children, and not even to have relationships with men. At least you know your decision to not hook up with a guy was definitely the right one if he insults you for it. I'm in love with a married man And his wife is pregnant. Best of luck. Your bodies will fit together perfectly. So, we got married. Time passed and we just got comfortable being there. Welcoming your new baby with wishes of health, joy and plenty of sleep. You need a job and a plan so that you don't get stuck with him forever. Anyways, we decided to get marry after finding out that she was pregnant, even though I had my doubts if it was my baby or not. Learn more about. Forgotting that there's gonna be 3 children in his life forever? I dont want to jump into marriage as if its a job contract I am signing expecting that one day it will expire. we ended u divorcing in 6 years anyway. back out now, "Leaving a pregnant girlfriend with your child, in my view is very selfish and irresponsible. Rejecting your man's baby mama is almost the same as rejecting your boyfriend's child and you don't want to do that. Obviously she is going to get custody if we split up. After a wonderful pregnancy I spontaneously gave birth at 29 weeks. Steve. The author playing in the snow in December 2022. You may want to consider marriage counseling talk to your pastor, priest whatever. She knows him for 9 MONTHS not years. Rightfully so! I have heard that arranged marriages actually have a better long term outcome because of this. Nobody wants probably so you think men should just force themselves to be in love with someone they're not?? . i know for sure u dated her for longer b4 she got pregnant start looking at the quality this gal have n think of ur daughter after that give her a chance n delete that mind of not loving her out of ur mind n married her ..am sure God will give u new hrt to love her.. NOW WHY IS IT THAT SO MANY OF US HAD MESSED UP CHILDHOOD? Couldn't have said it any better And me too guys. IS THAT WHAT SHE/HER DESERVES A GARANTEED **** UP ENVRIOMENT? It's why your lady friend just said those two possibly thrilling, possibly terrifying words: "I'm pregnant." So what do you say when the woman you. dont do it I married my ex for the same reasons it was terrible for not only us but my children. Told me "**** the baby" I was gone for a while after that but went back due to having no where else to go. I'm supposed to get married in a month. Why not abortion?? We had been dating for maybe a few months before exclusive. "All of the rational thoughts. Does it feel like pulling teeth getting him to say how he feels about you? Nobody forces you to live with him, if you really don't like him, you can find a job and leave. As opposed to hanging out with friends and other men she isn't in love with, she may be much more outgoing and boisterous. If someone truly needs GA, that's absolutely what it's for. Hi everyone! This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply. You will love that baby no matter what when it gets here! Would I do it again? I'm Michelle Devani and would like to take this opportunity to welcome you to my site. @jessi, LMFAOI like ur commentVery BLUNT and to the POINT. Just here to say I constantly feel guilty for all of the crying I have done this pregnancy. She may have decided against an abortion thinking you will still be with her, but if not, TELL HER it is over and you will not be involved with her anymore (except of course whatever involvement you ahve with the child, support and custody-wise). Thank you for purchase! The thought of her raising my kid with another man makes me feel sick, I hate this. Don't assume the baby will be just like his daddy, your baby may have a few similarities to him cause he's his child but your baby will be one of a kind in your eyes. You can't force yourself to love him. We had two kidsnice little family unit. Op: get a job and support yourself. What to Expect supports Group Black and its mission to increase greater diversity in media voices and media ownership. He started cheating and I would cry myself to sleep. With the lowest fertility rate in the . So remember to try to be the best of you. We are trying our best but we don't know how long it will last. (11 Possible Meanings), how do I deal with a break up while I am still pregnant his baby, reasons you should know and love yourself before you love someone else, How to Sweep A Cancer Man Off His Feet - Zodiac Signs, 32 Best Reasons to Date a Nurse (The No.1 Caretaker), Things You Need to Know About Dating Portuguese Man (The Sexiest Boyfriend), 35 Crazy and Undeniable Signs That She Friendzoned You, 25 Reasons Why You Should Date The Outgoing Introvert, Reasons to Choose the Girl with the Complicated Pastand How to Love Her Right. Sometimes their families even paid a dowry to the groom . No passion. I don't know how I can be a great weekend father. That is exactly how I feel about my life over the past 8 years - it feels like I have been sleepwalking. I hid the drama from my children, making up excuses while he never home. In the episode, Homer recounts the story of Maggie's birth when the kids ask why there are no photos of her in the family album. How can you discuss your thoughts with her in a healthy way? If I do something to hurt their father then im hurting my children because they love him. But kids are smarter than you think. If you've only been together 3 mos, where did you live before you met? The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of What to Expect. Ive just seen your reply and am unhappoy in my relationship but dont want to end it for the kids sake! The issue is she is healthcare prof and works in OBS/GYN so there is no way way she would have an abortion, she has just been involved in too many such procedures and its just not for her. I had been seeing the guy (now DH) exclusively since August of 2011. I do have family but financially they can't help me or buy me a car bc he would be petty enough to keep the one he got me, it's under his name, I don't have anywhere to go or any Finances since I quit my job moving in with him. Its best to rip the band-aid off now instead of living a miserable life indefinitely. Next time, WATCH BEFORE YOU LEAP, U see how some guys end up sleeping with gurls dey do not love?? 2. I JUST came here to vent not telling people I'm snobby or lazy which I've never been! We only dated for three months before I got pregnant. Married for few months. @Teejay,hahahahaha, that cracked me up, but coming back to the issue, what da hell???? A Group Leader is a What to Expect community member who has been selected by our staff to help maintain a positive, supportive tone within a group. But men can still get baby fever. U r runnin away from marriage cos u didn love her b4 ?? In the time that I got pregnant I feel that I was in a daze thinking I was in love but recently I feel like I snapped out of it. I FEEL SORRY FOR THE GIRL INVOLVED. Most were married to . This relationship is bad for my wife and me. It is something i always knew deep down but i never acted on it. What to Expect has thousands of open discussions happening each day. long story short. Mia, the fascinating thing about postpartum depression and anxiety is that it isn't logical. ( though I dont see the first one as a mistake because making babies should not be a mistake.it is the natural order of things).you cant force people to do things out of their wishes and desires. Regret will always be there when we made a mistake. So are you guys in a relationship or just friend with benefits? You decided to have a child with a man you barely know, you use him and his money (as you wrote, he can afford to pay for your car and other stuff) and you want us to praise you. I do want to be a father but i always imagined it different, like being with a woman that i am in love with. His baby mama got engaged to some dude while pregnant calls her fiance the kid's 'daddy', despite my friend wanting to be a father to his child. I know some people may be asking why having sex with someone you dont love. I want to be a great Dad, but I don't want to be miserable for the next 18 years - I don't know what to do. Okay so long story very short my ex gi Long story short, My current girlfriend keeps in contact wit Long story short. A Group Owner is a member that has initiated the creation of a group to connect with other members to share their journey through the same pregnancy & baby stages. It tears me apart. Please I need your help because I might be pushed to get married when am not prepared. but honestly did society really win? And when the oldest child was about 10, I finally left. Sadly having a baby can create a rift between parents. no wonder we have the type of problems we have in our communitieswe are always reacting instead of thinking.. you cant correct a mistake or problem with another people.. I am 39 soon to be 40 in 2 months. The relationship seems new and I know that is hard. What now? I don't get how you came to that conclusion and you are just a bitter girl that